Oh, Well, I Never
by Triskell
Summary: CATS: coming of age story of sorts starring Quaxo...


Author: Triskell  
Summary: coming of age story of sorts starring Quaxo...  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: The Jellicle Cats belong to TSE, ALW & RUG. The story is mine, no copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

** OH, WELL, I NEVER… **  
© Triskell, May/June/July/September 2001   


* * *

It was a nice day in early summer, one of those where the heat is not yet oppressive, though it is palpable and comforting in the air, making laziness much easier by its steady pull.  
  
Sauntering through the junkyard, Bombalurina came across Quaxo, sulking in his pipe. She would not have seen him, had not the nervous thumping of his tail against the metal alerted her to his presence.  
  
Following his stare, she guessed at the cause for his bad mood in the flock of kittens worshipping a lean tom with a fluffy mane…  
  
"You don't have to be a Rum Tum Tugger to get the queens' attention."  
  
Quaxo looked up, surprised she was talking to him. Bombalurina wasn't usually someone to speak with or turn to for advice. However, he wasn't exactly in the mood for caring, so he smiled, acknowledging her with a nod and then shaking his head, "It's all appearances! They won't give me a chance - I'm just not their type."  
  
"Nonsense - you're exactly their type, they just haven't figured it out yet. Each kit goes through a stage of hero worship - may I remind you of Carby and Bill? They're hanging about Tugger as if he were a lifeline even though they might look to better idols."  
  
"That's my point! Tugger's interesting - the others are not!"  
  
Bombalurina sighed, "Maybe…now. It'll change."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
Quaxo was sceptical and miserable having no one to play with; enough so to forget his manners and press the conversation further, onto a personal level he usually wouldn't have dared let it come to.  
  
"Take a walk with me and I'll explain."  
  
The black tom got up quickly, following the red queen, trying not to notice the way her hips swung from side to side ever so slowly.  
  
Taking Quaxo's arm lightly, Bombalurina addressed him again, grinning, "You're blushing. Any chance this might have to do with my … appearance?"  
  
Seeing the young tom's embarrassment, she turned away a little, before continuing, "It's nothing to be ashamed of. Really, it's quite natural…my first reaction to Admetus was a dead swoon…"  
  
Catching his eye, she smiled, "Oh, Admetus might not be much older than me, but when I first came to the junkyard he seemed quite grown up already and I totally fell for him. I was lucky to catch him for my first mating dance… However, he was not 'exciting' in a Tugger sort of way. Macavity was."  
  
Quaxo gasped, "The…he's a criminal!"  
  
Bombalurina chuckled, "Criminal, yes, but a damn good lover - and quite fascinating, if you don't mind doing his bidding every day, every hour. He…was all I thought I wanted, all the kittens see in Tugger now, maybe a touch more dangerous. Yet - I soon saw that for all the excitement and pleasure he gave me he wasn't one I could live with…permanently. Suppose it was the same for Demi. You want the exciting tom - but when the time comes to settle down you'll take the calm, quiet one. The steady type who won't let you down."  
  
"But why go for the Tuggers in the first place then?"  
  
"Experience. You need to have found out for yourself that they're not for you, otherwise you'll always think you've missed something."  
  
"So you're telling me to keep quiet and just sit there waiting."  
  
"Oh no! Not if you'd rather do something else."  
  
"Like what?" Quaxo didn't notice the mischievous glint in the elder queen's eyes, however he was thoroughly intrigued. The way she put it, 'doing something' seemed very interesting all of a sudden.  
  
"Like running wild."  
  
"Wild?"  
  
"Oh come on, you know what I mean! Act in a way that's totally unsuspected by everyone round you, behave silly, or rudely - let your frustration out - go for a break-in with Mungo and Rumple by all means, do what you feel like!"  
  
"And that'll help?"  
  
"At least you'll have an occupation. And if you don't mind getting Munku all riled up you'll have a great time. Before you know it you'll find out more about who you are and what you really expect from life and then you'll have no trouble finding a mate anymore."  
  
Quaxo stared at her, before nodding, very slowly, "Maybe I should do that."  
  
"Yes, maybe. Find something that's fun to do, something unusual and enjoy it thoroughly. I'm sure you'll no longer find Tugger as offensive then."  
  
She smiled, patting his arm in a motherly gesture, "Have fun, Quaxo."  
  
Then she was gone, leaving the black tom to think over what she had said.  
  
Thinking over the special talents he had, Quaxo couldn't come up with much more than being a thoughtful tom and a good listener. Not at all satisfied, he decided to spend the rest of the day in the city library - the librarian was a very nice human and had never yet thrown him out. Maybe there was some sort of hobby to be found amidst those books there - even humans needed help figuring out what they were good at, or so he supposed.  
  
The streets were still full of the afternoon bustle when Quaxo strode through the doors and hid quickly behind the library's first shelves so the group of humans at the librarian's counter wouldn't see him. Not minding a cat's presence in the building was an entirely subjective thing as the young tom well knew…  
  
As he brushed past the shelf, he stumbled across a book that had to have fallen from its place and now lay open on the floor. Having a good command of the human language, Quaxo turned it around with his paw and tried to make out the title, however, the word made no sense at all…F A U S T - a quick look showed the author's name to be Goethe or the like, not a very British name.  
  
A quick scan of the section's description told him he was among the foreign books - and from the shelves he was finally able to find out that the book he had beneath his paws was a German work. No wonder he couldn't understand it.  
  
But one thing still caught his attention - a name, probably of one of the characters in the play - at least he considered it to be a play judging from the dialogue sequences - Mephisto. He read it again and again, for it sparked a memory of something that was long past…  
  
A dream it had been…the dream in which he had found out his second name, his cat-name: Quaxo …Mistoffelees! That was where he had heard the similar word first - they seemed to be related in their origin somehow.  
  
His curiosity awakened, Quaxo put the book back on the shelf as well as he could and walked straight through the library, looking for the English language plays section. There had to be a translation of this book - he just had to find out who this Mephisto guy was!  
  
It was a very excited black cat that raced back to the junkyard later that evening, abruptly halting in front of Bombalurina's place, knocking hastily before slipping inside, coming nose to nose with the red queen.  
  
"Now, what have you been up to?"  
  
"I…found…know…I'm…a…mgal…cat!"  
  
"You're a cat? Well, I guess that's some sort of a…"  
  
"Magical! A magical cat!"  
  
Quaxo had finally found his voice again and his eyes were sparkling. Bombalurina smiled, not quite sure if he was serious but not wanting to put him down by laughing at him straight away, "Go on!"  
  
"I…was at the library and there was…a name in a book - Mephisto - a German book by some really well known author and this Mephisto guy is the devil! He offers a man all he ever desired if only he'll give away his soul. And…"  
  
"…the guy sells his soul I assume."  
  
"Yes…but that's not really important. But the name - Mephisto…"  
  
"Since you've mentioned it quite so many times it must have some importance."  
  
"Not just some! I have two second names, you know! I just couldn't remember - I'm called Quaxo Mistoffelees. Mistoffelees! That's not just a coincidence!"  
  
Bombalurina looked him up and down, slowly shaking her head, "Coincidence, no. But I can't for the life of me understand why the Everlasting Cat should give you a name that is so closely related with the devil…"  
  
"Because the devil, in this culture, is seen as black and he is usually thought to reside in black cats. He takes their shape to seduce women who then become witches…"  
  
"Ah…yes."  
  
"You don't believe me!"  
  
"Quaxo - I do believe you, it's just a great deal to work out. And…how does this magical cat thing come in with the name?"  
  
The young tom sobered, "I don't really know yet. I just 'feel' that I'm a magical cat. I just…it's a conviction that I have, as if I had always known it and only now remembered."  
  
"I guess that puts down your newest hobby - discover your magical abilities."  
  
"Yes, I guess so…" The black tom smiled, happily, "Do you think I should tell the others yet?"  
  
"Wait a little, Quaxo. Figure out what you can do. You might talk to Tanto and Corico, they are specialists in anything mythical and mystical and I'm sure Deuteronomy will counsel you as well."  
  
It sounded very much like a dismissal…but Bombalurina smiled, laying her paw on his shoulder, "I'm glad you came to me though. I appreciate your trust and I'm very happy you've found something so fascinating for yourself."  
  
Quaxo brightened up immediately, rubbed his head against the queen's shoulder and rushed off in search of the twins to tell them his wonderful news…  
  
It took the better part of the summer for Quaxo to figure out exactly what his magical talents were - with the, mostly unwilling, help of the circle of confidants he found himself in it worked out, however.  
  
Bombalurina, as well as Coricopat, Tantomile and Deuteronomy were the only ones in the secret - and they kept quiet about it as well as they could, even covering the young magician's traces more than once.  
  
That was not always easy - since Coricopat found it hard to explain how he had managed to burn his tail…an early testament to Quaxo's ability to throw blue lightning. It had surprised him as much as the elder tom - coming after a meditative study that Deuteronomy had counselled.  
  
The mystic twin having snuck up quietly as was his way, he had surprised the black cat who had instinctively lashed out…Tantomile had been all but pleased. Yet when she came up to them, seeing her brother run around in circles, panicked, trying to smother the fire on his tail, she had run straight into the burst of rain Quaxo conjured up to save his friend's fur…  
  
These were not the most obvious problems that arose from the young tom's magic training, however. While no one wondered where he was, his elusiveness being generally known and little regarded, the burnt remains of small junk piles were disquieting to most cats.  
  
Bombalurina kept her quiet, a silent supporter for Quaxo - believing that she owed him her friendship since she had started the confidential relationship between them by giving her counsel without being asked. She felt almost a mother's pride in his achievements, something that surprised her immensely, yet she tried not to think too much of it.  
  
It was clear that her young 'charge', for all his liking her, was in no danger of falling in love with her as the other toms were in the habit of doing - she had just dealt with a crush of Bill's who had proclaimed her to be the angel of his dreams…only to be replaced by Jemima the moment he had heard the kitten sing.  
  
Her most ardent suitor at the moment, however, was Carbucketty and she was by no means sure he would be so easy to lose. In this, Quaxo provided a wonderful distraction and a sympathetic listener, even if he was a little touchy on the subject.  
  
"I don't know what you want - you're admired and loved! Enjoy it!"  
  
"He's not serious about me - it's gonna spare both of us heartache and disappointment if he figures it out now."  
  
"He'd be able to settle down with you…"  
  
"Quaxo! As if he would ever…he's too young to seriously think about a commitment for life - and that's what I'm looking for in case you have any doubts. I've had my share of flirtations…"  
  
"But you flirt with Tugger…"  
  
"Tugger would no more think of me as a potential mate than Jelly would of…Deuteronomy!"  
  
Quaxo laughed at that, but there was concern in his eyes as well and a slight mischievous twinkle - one of the things that Bombalurina had found hardest to resist about him, since it was a side of his that she particularly enjoyed discovering.  
  
"So…who might capture you enough for you to think about them seriously?"  
  
"You're not gonna make a match for me, Quaxo - that's quite impossible…"  
  
And the stern, brooding look told the young tom the interview was concluded. He was, however, sure that she harboured doubts about her own loneliness - for as he had observed she had drawn further away from her flirtations of late, becoming more private and elusive.  
  
What surprised him was that Demeter and Munkustrap were the only ones to notice. And the tabby probably only did because the young queen had pointed her sister's behaviour out to him…  
  
"Bombalurina!"  
  
Quaxo was laughing so hard, he almost fell over his paws as he raced up to his friend who was lounging on an old cushion she had found earlier that morning.  
  
"What have you been up to this time, Quaxo?" the queen's voice was mild, yet her eyes sparkled at the prospect of hearing some gossip or the narration of the young tom's latest prank.  
  
"I…gosh…if you'd only seen Munku's face! It was…priceless!"  
  
"Come, what did you do to our poor tabby knight?" she was chuckling already.  
  
"Well, I had just left Deuteronomy…at the vicarage wall and I was walking home and…well, he just passed by, so I…came up with a little plan…"  
  
"Go on…"  
  
"Since I've been practising how to make things disappear lately…I crept up to Munku and Old D, keeping away from the wind and I…" a burst of laughter interrupted Quaxo, his merriment being uncontrollable as he continued,  
"And I…made…Old D's tail…disappear…and…reappear…and Munku was…looking…and blinking…and looking again and finally…he was so confused…that Old D asked… what was wrong and…he blushed and…said he had to…leave…"  
  
Bombalurina grinned, "That is to say you scared the future Jellicle leader half to death?"  
  
She punched him in the side and then patted his arm affectionately, "You, my friend, are as good a devil as one might ask for a Mr. Mistoffelees."  
  
The young tom beamed, hugging her briefly and licking her cheek…  
  
Deuteronomy had found it advisable to proclaim Quaxo's abilities to the tribe as soon as might be now that he was no longer an obvious danger to anyone. Having spoken to the young magician, he was by no means surprised to be heartily thanked and the sparkle in the dark eyes betrayed how much the black tom was looking forward to being introduced to the tribe as 'Mr. Mistoffelees' at last…  
  
It was with those wonderful news that Quaxo came to Bombalurina's cosy dwelling later that evening, two white mice dangling from his mouth - a special treat to celebrate the occasion. But though she listened attentively and congratulated him she seemed out of spirits.  
  
"I'm not bothering you, am I?"  
  
"Oh no, no…of course not. I…I'm a bit tired that's all."  
  
Quaxo heard the silent plea to go and leave her be in Bombalurina's voice, but it just didn't feel right to him to let her deal with whatever distressed her so on her own. Therefore he sat down beside her, rubbing his head against her shoulder and purring softly.  
  
"Carbucketty told me he loved me."  
  
It was barely a whisper, but the resignation and despair that hung about the red queen were palpable enough for the words to ring loudly in the black tom's ears.  
  
"Maybe he really does."  
  
"We both know that's a lie. He doesn't know me. He can't separate sex from emotion yet, that's all. And I encouraged him - it's all my own fault."  
  
"What did you tell him?"  
  
"That I didn't care for him that way and that our relationship was merely physical. He stared at me and then turned on his heels and left."  
  
Quaxo sighed. That did sound like a problem. But Bombalurina spoke up again and what she said then worried him much more than all the broken-hearted Carbuckettys in the junkyard.  
  
"I'm tired of being seen as easy to get, Quaxo."  
  
The black tom drew back abruptly, looking into her eyes. She was entirely serious… Instinct prompted him to hug her, pulling her close to him as he whispered, frantically into her nearest ear, "NO. No one thinks that of you. They see you as a flirt maybe, a female Tugger probably, but not like that!"  
  
"But it's the truth. I'm only playing. I've only ever been playing. I've forgotten how to be serious about my feelings."  
  
Quaxo didn't quite know what to say, but he was determined that he had to do something. Still holding her tightly he mumbled, "I can't think that ill of you…"  
  
The next day dawned brightly and cheerfully, autumn had finally come upon them and the air was crisp and fresh. The tribe assembled around the tire and Deuteronomy addressed them with a smile,  
"Today we will welcome someone among us who, though always with us, never truly belonged. He had a destiny to fulfil that opened itself to him recently and now that he has chosen the path to follow he is whole and truly one of us."  
  
"What's he talking about?" Bill whined.  
  
"Philosophical that, ey?" Carbucketty replied, hoping to seem grown up, intellectual and understanding but failing utterly with an expression of complete incomprehension on his face.  
  
"Did we 'ave ta come 'ere only ta 'ear that crap?" Mungojerrie chimed in, bringing the feelings of most cats to the point.  
  
Jenny hushed them all, though she didn't seem at all pleased herself. If there was one thing that annoyed everyone about Deuteronomy it was his inability to express himself clearly and concisely when he had something important to say…  
  
Munkustrap had risen already, and when he received a nod from the Jellicle leader he smiled, happy to be able to enlighten his friends,  
"I have the pleasure of announcing to you that Quaxo from this day forth will be known as Mr. Quaxo Mistoffelees, the magical cat."  
  
"Oh…" stated Bill while Carbucketty stared at the black tom, looking even more lost than before.  
  
"Good grief, is that all? 'ow 'bout jest puttin' up a notice next time, Teaze and I 'ad a job this mornin' ya know…"  
  
Once again, Mungojerrie expressed the slight irritation most other cats felt at being torn from their duties only to hear about Quaxo being a magical cat. Nice as that was, it might have been mentioned in passing some other day.  
  
The black tom had, in the meantime, noticed the disinterest with which his great news had been met by the tribe. What annoyed him most of all was that the kittens hadn't even done as much as raised their brows in acknowledgement of his new title… and he had thought that he'd be much more interesting for them now…  
  
"Come on, guys. Isn't this something to rejoice about? We've got our very own magical cat! And Mr. Mistoffelees is very proficient in his art too - I was quite awed by him."  
  
The red queen was trying valiantly to stir some interest in her friend, but didn't quite succeed as was expressed most pointedly by the tribe's heartthrob.  
  
"Seems you didn't have many interesting things to do then, other than stare at Quaxo, Bomb. What a pity. I remember a time when you lived your life to the fullest…"  
  
Quaxo was already nearing boiling point - what with all those cats sitting about and mourning the loss of their morning's activities lazily as if he weren't there at all; and Tugger's words induced him to growl quietly. Before he could think of something to say, however, Admetus had walked towards Bombalurina, putting his paw on her arm,  
"Don't heed him, he's had a hard night…his family left him outside after he scratched one of the human kittens in the face. He's always cross without his beauty sleep…and you can see the lack of a good morning's grooming in the way his mane sticks out…"  
  
The red queen smiled slightly, the first smile that Quaxo had seen on her lips for quite a bit of time and a thought crept into his mind.  
  
Walking up to Bombalurina, he said, "I've got some new tricks - wanna see them?"  
  
She nodded, probably thankful to get away. She really didn't seem to fit into the tribe as she used to, that much was clear now. She had changed and in a way that the others, being so set upon their own steady ways couldn't quite comprehend yet.  
  
"Wanna come too Admetus?"  
  
The elder tom cast a glance at Bombalurina and, when she didn't show any sign of objecting, nodded and grinned, "I wouldn't want to anger the tribe's magician…"  
  
Proud of his achievements, Quaxo readily accepted Deuteronomy's invitation to perform at the Ball, in fact, he saw it as the perfect opportunity to show the tribe that he was a grown-up, and that his special gift was well worth noticing. He also hoped to finally be respected and accepted as the tribe's magician.  
  
Bombalurina managed to coax Tugger into contriving a grand song for his magic number, however she set about that Quaxo had no idea, for he felt that no one took him seriously, not even the elder tom. Probably because the lyrics he had sung had been written by the red queen - it was hard to believe that the tribe's heartthrob possessed such a knowledge of his character or person after all.  
  
It was shortly before the mating dance that the black tom realized, with a sinking feeling, that none of the queen kittens were likely to show any interest in him - they all hung out with the elder toms, even Pouncival and Tumble, both near his own age, stood at the sidelines. However, it was clear that Jenny and Jelly would take pity on those two, he had heard them say that the 'poor dears' shouldn't spend their first night as adults all alone…  
  
Yet such consideration obviously didn't come to their minds when thinking about him. It hurt to see that he was believed to be too young still - even though he was sure that he was one of the most serious and responsible of his age mates.  
  
It was then that Bombalurina sidled up to him, laying her paw onto his arm gently and favouring the assembled group in front of them with a slight frown,  
"Where's your date for tonight?"  
  
"You need to ask?" the hurt was well evident in his tone as was the accusation. For all that he had tried to find something, to make himself grow and win the tribe's respect, he would remain alone, even on this night.  
  
"Still think you're a kit, do they? Well, we'll see," Bombalurina intoned and, winking at Quaxo, she stepped into the clearing and began singing the song Tugger had performed for the 'magical Mr. Mistoffelees', in a low sultry voice,  
"His manner is vague and aloof and you would think there was nobody shyer," her smile deepened, "but his voice has been heard on the roof, when he was curled up by the fire."  
  
Bombalurina's eyes closed, her paws running along her thighs slowly. Quaxo's throat went dry. Peaking out from his hiding place he saw his reaction was shared by just about every tom with eyes in his head. Gus was the only one not affected, but since he was deep in a narration about his exploits in the wilds of the Wild West, that was by no means surprising.  
  
Quaxo wondered what Bombalurina was up to, the tone of voice she was using and her movements were quite…suggestive, and he was disturbed greatly by the fact that she was singing about…him…  
  
"And not long ago, this phenomenal cat…produced seven kittens…"  
  
The black tom gasped - now THAT was a bit too clear - the emphasis on 'phenomenal' left no doubt anymore - a breathy voice, her paw running down her chest and further…oh no! What had she gotten him into? She was making fools out of both of them…what would Munkustrap say? Quaxo stepped out into the clearing, waving his paws wildly in the desperate attempt to make her stop.  
  
Smiling, Bombalurina changed her tone of voice and, with a pronounced wink ended, "…right out of a hat."  
  
Walking towards the black tom, she laid her arm around his waist, drawing him away, fully aware of the stares they received…and of the mumbling among the kittens.  
  
"They'll all laugh at us now, really, Bomba…"  
  
Quaxo was so agitated that he quite forgot to be surprised by the fact the red queen had stepped out of the shadows and flaunted her flirtatious nature to the tribe once more. It was totally inconsistent with all he knew her to feel. Yet the shock of the implications that would arise from the 'song' was still in his bones. But to his dismay, Bombalurina only smiled.  
  
"Oh, they won't laugh, Quaxo. In fact, they believed every word I said. I've never been known to exaggerate about my lovers."  
  
The young tom groaned, "Oh no! How…we…you…I…everlasting Cat! Munku'll skin me!"  
  
"Is the thought of being with me that dreadful?"  
  
"No!"  
  
Quaxo blushed. He didn't at all like the way the conversation was going or the warmth in Bombalurina's tone. Much as he was attracted to her, he had never truly considered sleeping with her - she was his friend after all, and only his friend…  
  
"Good, then just keep quiet. You needn't say anything. Silence will do much more for your reputation than denials or acknowledgments. I wouldn't be with any tom unless he was grown up enough not to make a fuss about it - or brag about it to his friends…"  
  
"They'll…"  
  
"…simply see you with different eyes now." Smiling, she turned to go, meeting his eyes for a moment, "Do call me Bom though, I'd rather you use the nickname Tugger gave me, it fits the occasion much better."  
  
Quaxo only nodded, stupefied.  
  
Munkustrap sighed, "I would be a lot easier if you could tell me that Bomba wasn't serious."  
  
"Has she ever lied?"  
  
The tabby shook his head, eyeing Demeter with a wary expression, "Then I'll have to make sure they don't get any closer…"  
  
"You're too late for that now. Let them be. There's nothing wrong with Bomba's liking Quaxo and I'm sure she's not using him if you think that."  
  
"He's too young!"  
  
"Nonsense. He's old enough. You wouldn't get so riled up if it was Carby or Bill!"  
  
"Quaxo's…different."  
  
"No, he isn't - you just want to protect him more, though I can't fathom why. He doesn't need you to play nurse for him."  
  
"I hate nothing more than having to admit you're right," the tabby mumbled, trying to ignore the satisfied smirk on Demeter's face.  
  
Quaxo lay in his pipe, fully awake still, though the moonlight was already waning. With the approaching dawn he didn't feel at all better though, since that would bring the inevitable confrontation with the rest of the tribe that he had escaped so easily the previous night due to the Ball…and the mating dance.  
  
He sighed. Why? Now he'd be made fun of and…it wasn't even true! He had spent so much time with her of late, and to the fact that she was beautiful came the simple knowledge that she was warm and caring and fun to be with. It almost felt to him as if he were using her, even if she'd been to one to spread the rumour.  
  
'Heaviside, what am I going to do?'  
  
A low chuckle came from the direction of the pipe's entrance, and Quaxo quickly glanced up - to come face to face with Rumpelteazer. She was alone, or so it seemed, and she was in high spirits.  
  
"There ya are! Tanto sent me ta look for ya…now, canna keep yer paws off the queens, can ya?"  
  
She was giggling now, enjoying the blush her words elicited. The young tom mumbled something non-committal, that could have been anything from a 'get lost' to a 'I hate you' and brushed past her with difficulty, for the pipe was pretty narrow.  
  
He didn't at all like the fact he had to move so close towards her, he was a gentletom and brushing up to pretty queens, though he often thought about it, wasn't something he did on a regular basis. But he had to get away, and Tanto wanting him was as good an excuse as any. He remembered that they had fixed an early practice session with meditation that day and heaved a sigh of relief - the mystical twins surely wouldn't ask questions about Bomba's…performance.  
  
"Tanto, please…"  
  
Quaxo was at the end of his nerves. He had been bugged first by Coricopat and now the other mystical twin was upon him. Not that they were prying, just curious. And he had to admit they were masterfully turning the subject around so it seemed they almost weren't asking about him and Bombalurina.  
  
Almost. He had been taught this approach to gaining information by them and he was less easily fooled than most other cats. He sighed,  
"I don't wanna talk about it. Please."  
  
"Quaxo, the whole junkyard talks of nothing else. Cori and I didn't even suppose you capable of such a thing. Bomba perhaps, but not you!"  
  
"I'm not a kitten anymore." He was pouting and looked decidedly younger than he was just then, so his meaning wasn't taken quite as seriously as he had intended it to be.  
  
"Hush, of course not. Not after Bomba. But I've heard that Munku's very agitated about the whole thing…"  
  
"Leave it be, Tanto, please."  
  
"Alright."  
  
The sparkle in her eyes was unmistakable though, so Quaxo thought it best to end his practice session with the twins as soon as he could to return to the junkyard. Once there, he slunk into the shadows, making his way to his pipe, unobserved. He hid there, his thoughts fluttering almost as much as the butterflies in his stomach.  
  
She was no more than a friend who had tried to help him out. Yet could he really ignore that she was a very attractive queen? One who liked him, treated him as an equal? The possibility of falling in love with her loomed at the edges of his mind. 'Noooooo!' a small voice proclaimed, another one simply said, 'Grow up, don't think and enjoy the attention'…  
  
Quaxo had almost decided that he could take any questioning the next morning and he found, to his great joy, that he was not being bothered at all. In fact, his stroll across the clearing in front of the tire had proven to be totally uneventful. A few stares, a wolf whistle from Bill, a mischievous grin from Carby and that was the extent of the attention he received.  
  
Good. Very good indeed. Maybe this sad business would all be forgotten in a few days' time. Leaning against a junk pile, he stared up at the sun, letting its warmth soak through his fur, like the caress of slim paws…  
  
"Morning, Misto!"  
  
The purr resonated through the black tom, and his heart beat increased steadily as he felt a soft paw running along his arm while the other just skimmed down his flank…  
  
"Bomba!" he turned around abruptly, only to come nose to…neck with the elder feline. Oh no, this was not exactly what he had wanted, she was quite a bit too close… She hopefully wasn't thinking of playing out a scenario for the tribe's benefit…was she?  
  
Now he was beginning to understand why toms were so irresistibly drawn to the red queen - she knew how to use her body to best advantage and it was enough for her to just walk by to show it off…  
  
His throat was dry and he knew that whatever he might say would only come out as a stammer. So he just shook his head, closed his eyes, and placed his paws on her arms, pushing her away slightly. She didn't complain as she stepped back. Quaxo was just praying for something to get him away from her when…  
  
"BOMBALURINA!"  
  
Opening his eyes, the black tom saw a silver streak racing towards them, dragging the red queen away from him forcibly, "Leave the kit alone!"  
  
A low purr resonated from Bombalurina's throat and she smiled, "Oh, he's no longer a kitten, Munku, as much as you might like that," and she stepped closer, wrapping her arms around the tabby's neck and leaning against him.  
  
Quaxo had to grin at the change that came over the elder tom's features as he tried to disentangle himself from the red queen. He couldn't help but think that the discomfort was merited - a kitten indeed!  
  
Munkustrap seemed to be out of luck that day, for a moment later his name was shouted with as much indignation as could be put into it and was followed by a tearful,  
"How can you - Munkustrap, you of all toms…I would never…"  
  
A ruffled Demeter walking past her mate, who had yanked Bombalurina off him and ran towards her.  
  
"It's not what you think, she just…Dem, I really…"  
  
The young tom sighed. Poor Munkustrap. How he was going to explain his predicament was beyond him. Not that he didn't find it extremely amusing… The angry black and golden queen passed Bombalurina and Quaxo's eyes widened as he caught the slight smirk on her features as she softly slapped her sister's backside - it almost seemed as if…  
  
"DEMETER! I can explain!!!!!!!"  
  
Munkustrap couldn't get after his mate fast enough and the red queen turned around, grinning mischievously, "You didn't think I would flirt with Demi's tom, did you?" Her tone was quite deceptively innocent.  
  
"You've planned that?"  
  
"Do you really think all the toms round here behave as they should without a little prompting? Quaxo, dear, there are weapons only a queen can use - and I would advise you to never breathe a word about them. Having a junkyard of females _against_ you might not be quite what you had in mind."  
  
Still grinning, Bombalurina turned around, leaving the black tom behind - confused and very much in need of air…  
  
Quaxo sighed, sinking deeper into the blackness of his pipe. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but it was his. One of these days it might be nice to find another place to stay he told himself, yet in his present state of mind the bareness of his little abode suited him perfectly.  
  
His age mates had absented themselves of late - not that they had been this close to him anyway, it was just as if his being rumoured to be an adult and Bombalurina's lover was enough to drive them further away than ever. He was now no longer a kitten they would play with. And the elder cats still couldn't accept him as being fully grown.  
  
Indignation had been the most prominent reaction from their midst, indignation mainly at the red queen's obvious disregard of Quaxo's age and status in the tribe. They thought he was a kitten, and she had blatantly proclaimed him an adult.  
  
Yet, for all her apparent impudence she got away with it. And the black tom himself began to relax a little. It didn't take more than a few weeks for the general uproar and gossip to subside. And the sidelong glances ceased as well. He was safe. And he was nowhere. Hard to believe that Bombalurina's well meant help had landed him at the juncture of yet another road.  
  
Two paths to chose from - standing up for who he was and bearing himself proudly or hiding from the new attention, trying to forget that he was now a part of the adults in the tribe and pretending that life was still as easy as he chose it to be.  
  
He would have liked to hide. He shied away from being responsible for all he said, did and thought. For every little thing - so much consequence to all his actions. No more leniency when he messed up - not that he often did - yet it was nevertheless a big step. And one he felt himself not quite prepared for.  
  
There was no one to truly talk to though. The elder cats shunned him still, believing him unequal to the challenge of his new position, wanting him to remain the magical kitten. Even Tanto and Corico had trouble accepting him now, as he was.  
  
It was with a great deal of nervousness that he made his way to Bombalurina's place that evening, to consult the only cat he was sure would not laugh at him…  
  
"I'm not sure if I can do it."  
  
"Be an adult? Come on now, Quaxo! You're not a kitten. I know you're not. It's a big step, no matter when you take it. There's a time for each of us."  
  
"But the others…"  
  
"Screw the others!"  
  
The black tom looked at her, aghast. Such language - he ought to have known she was capable of it, yet she didn't seem…  
  
"Never, ever suppose you know a cat, Quaxo. There are depths inside each of us that no one may reach." She was laughing, a warm, teasing smile playing around the corners of her mouth. And her red fur glistened in the spare illumination of a setting autumn sun…  
  
"You told me you didn't want to be treated as a kitten any longer. Well, you aren't. This is a new situation. But you can only run from it or adapt to it. I recommend adapting. Because you can't run forever. You might end up like Tugger. He's still a kitten at heart, and he's facing the dilemma of not growing up versus the knowledge that he is an adult but can never act like one."  
  
"It's hard…"  
  
"And you're not alone. If you wanna talk about anything - I'm here. I drew you into this and I'll wait it out with you, okay?"  
  
He smiled slightly, meeting her eyes, purring when she reached out to stroke along his cheek down the side of his neck. He knew it was time to go home. But he stayed.  
  
He stayed for her to move closer and brush against him. He stayed for her leaning in slowly, kissing him tenderly. He stayed for her pressing close to him, her paws on his chest, his back and his flanks. He stayed to touch her and learn the curves of her body by heart. He stayed to make a kitten's dream come true as he drifted into the full awareness of a grown tom's life in her arms.  
  
Their relationship, now no longer just a rumour was hardly mentioned, the short week that marked their first explorations of togetherness and the removal of what little Quaxo owned to Bombalurina's place passing unnoticed by the rest of the tribe who where already convinced so thoroughly of their affair.  
  
The black tom knew that he could no longer resist the desire he felt for the elder queen. It was too woven into the respect and companionship she offered him already - hopelessly tangled in the throngs of passion and strong friendship. He was confused by the developments and he just couldn't bring himself to care.  
  
It was nice to be with her, to have someone who understood him, his wants and feelings. Little did she know that what she gave him was the closest to a home he had known for most of his life, little did it seem to matter to him just then that his heart was slipping from his grasp and wavering towards her. He was a grown tom, living with his mate and he was learning how to cope with the responsibilities that were imminent in such a position.  
  
Bombalurina was his teacher, his confidante and his friend in this. He knew he could count on her in every particular, was conscious of her support. Yet she only gave it when he asked, letting him settle the minute details of his new life by himself, pushing him towards the independence of thought and spirit that was so essential for him to learn…  
  
A matehood anniversary. How poignant a date to find out that the queen he lived with was, as he had known from the beginning, not truly 'his'. Or so Quaxo thought. Jenny and Skimble had decided it would be nice to celebrate their five year anniversary - a long time to be together.  
  
Quaxo had come with Bombalurina, and he had been proud. Proud to be seen with her, but still prouder because he believed there was more than friendship between them. There was, on his side at least, growing a very strong and tender regard. And he had made himself believe there was a slight change in her behaviour towards him too.  
  
And then to see them together… Admetus was sitting at the sidelines and while Quaxo was entertaining the tribe with some new magic tricks, the red queen joined him.  
  
Surprise was what the black tom felt when he noticed them side by side. And…jealousy. After all, Admetus had been Bombalurina's first lover and every time she talked of him there was a fondness in her voice. Yet never had he imagined what they would look like…_together_.  
  
He sensed the communion between them, even though they were hardly talking, even though they never touched. They were meant to be. One didn't need to be a magic cat to see it, a sharp eye and some instinct would have been enough. Quaxo had simply pretended not to notice. For too long it seemed.  
  
And he had been hurt. Not by Bombalurina, for he supposed she little dreamt of actually searching her feelings, of giving in to the wish for a family of her own. She was running from her desires by being with him, that he realized now. Not consciously, but nevertheless strangely willingly.  
  
And it had to stop. Why shouldn't his feelings for her change with time? It might all be a crush. Wasn't he too passionate with her as it was? Too unlike himself? Sometimes he had thought so and this might be the reason. She was beautiful and he liked her personality, her warmth and spirit. He adored her, her body and her mind. But was it love?  
  
A voice inside him said 'Yes', yet he ruthlessly quenched it. Right now, he had to come to a decision. For her sake and for his own. Whether she dared acknowledge it or not, she cared for Admetus in a way that made it impossible for her to truly be with him…  
  
November was a beautiful time of year, even though most could not see it. The cold and rain, the mist and sweeping gusts of wind - all this was special in a surreal way. For it brought friends together and lovers, calling for them to brace themselves against the impending winter and turn to each other for warmth and comfort.  
  
Yet Quaxo did not go towards a waiting pair of arms - he fled from them. Gently disentangling himself from Bombalurina's body that had curled around him during the night, he got up, daring to cast a look over his shoulder and meeting sleepy, surprised eyes.  
  
"Where are you going, Quax? It's too cold for a walk…come back to bed."  
  
"We should end this."  
  
The red queen sat up, staring at him, still not fully awake, yet intrigued and surprised by the forced calm in the black tom's tone.  
  
"I don't quite understand."  
  
"We shouldn't have got together in the first place. You were trying to help me 'get a life' so to say and then…you threw yourself into the bargain. But I'm not what you need and I believe you know it. Give your heart a chance."  
  
"My…heart?"  
  
"Admetus."  
  
The name was barely spoken above a whisper, but the guilt suddenly evident in Bombalurina's eyes convinced Quaxo that he had been right. She had felt the tension between herself and the other tom and she had interpreted it as she ought…  
  
"I…that has nothing to do with us."  
  
"Nothing…and everything. You're trying not to think of him, because you're serious in your regard for him, serious in a way that you can't be with me. Because you can't love two toms like that."  
  
He smiled now, keeping his eyes on the floor so he wouldn't betray the wistfulness and the longing to hear something to the contrary. A simple 'I love you' that was impossible for her, because she couldn't lie now. Not any longer, not even to herself.  
  
"There's time…"  
  
"Since when are you stalling, Bom? You taught me not to be afraid - and Everlasting Cat knows that I was frightened of the attention that I wanted to have. As soon as everyone noticed me I was ready to chicken out. You wouldn't let me. And now I'll return the favour…"  
  
She laughed a little, "Are YOU _my_ guardian now?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
A red arm curled around his waist and a black paw raised his chin to make him face her, "I'm hurting you."  
  
A little nod - he couldn't hide his feelings now, Bombalurina was no fool.  
  
"I don't know if I love you, Bom. It might all go away."  
  
"First love is just as serious as those loves that come later."  
  
"Let me go."  
  
She only nodded, softly kissing his cheek and turning away from him as he left her, not looking back. He walked from her place with the sinking feeling that now he truly was an adult - his innocence had been lost in her arms, and his kittenhood stayed with her as a memory of the time when she had taught him about living his life.  
  
The End  



End file.
